I’m not admitting that it’s easy, but it’s a journey that i’m willing to take and you should to.
And by no means do i believe that i’m any close to giving any advice on what self growth should look like to you. I simply want to talk about what my journey has been like and what i’ve discovered as i’m still staggering in my twenty-somethings.
self growth is a process, as cliché as i can put it. but, believe me this one tends to be true. i’m often tentative about sharing who i am; being vulnerable in the midst of also trying to protect the woman i’m becoming. the idea of sharing myself with people i don’t know, while trying to piece my life together is a little scary.
honestly, I don’t know who i’ll be in the next 5 to 10 years, but i have an idea of the woman i want to become. and believe me there’s always an unprecedented amount of uncertainty that crosses my mind just like many others. often we question how our career will look, if that guy or girl we’ve been dealing with on and off will end in a meaningful relationship, or simply if you’ll be the person you expected to be.
my journey of self-growth can be different from yours. i’ve allowed God to lead the way. he’s allowed me to focus on the spirit instead of the flesh. some will understand and others wont. but that’s the thing about the journey of self discovering who you are, your path will be different from others.
Distraction will deter your journey of self growth. it’s easy to get lost in what society and our culture tells us what we should focus on. Despite that, stay on your path. Everywhere you step your foot is yours. self growth is a process that i cannot stress enough. if you remember that character is the essence of a person, you’ll find your way.
would you rather have beauty or character? Or simply both? i’ll leave that up to you to answer.
Here are some essentials I’m learning, realizing that much of my self-growth isn’t always about me:
my power is in my attitude – i create my essence. my mind is at peace if my focus is on thee
change requires responsibility and accountability – stop pointing fingers. work on my weaknesses
stop complaining – the things i encounter in life will either determine my success or failure. i will deal with it. simple
be committed – i can change my life if i can change my mind
there are no limits – with God on my side, i cant be stopped. God said my being may be limited, but not my faith in him.
These are just a few to list, the important takeaway is that i’m learning to wait and trust in the process. i realize that it’s easy to start most things in life, however; the challenge is finishing it.
if i can finish it, i am never at the end.
On your journey of self growth i want to share that it’s best to experiment. If i’ve taken any advice, it’s surely to go out and grab the world, because it’s mine. Be your authentic self, don’t wait on anyone to give you the ok, the approval isn’t needed. here’s what i want to share with you on your journey of self growth:
first things first, accept that you are worthy of change
as you experiment it’s ok to be intentional – this will order your steps
don’t go back to where you came from – let go. what’s in the past and what you’ve lost has no value to you. you don’t need it.
there will be difficult situations – for anything you build, will be a challenge.
uncertainty causes doubt & fear – figure out how to cast this out
don’t expect it to be easy – you know the saying, “if it’s easy, is it worth it?”
don’t expect it to happen on your time – that’s life.
I’ll leave you with this,
know your worth
A E S T H E T I C.
I want you to listen to this song first without looking at the video.
Close your eyes, listen to the words as the rhythm picks up…follow that too.
Think about the song meaning of who she’s talking about or what she’s talking about.
Now that you’ve done that.
Watch the video.
I wanted to share this song, most importantly this video. To be completely honest, i can’t count how many times I’ve replayed this song. It’s been on repeat since the first time i’ve heard it.
From the soft-spoken lyrics to its sultry tone as she finds her way in her own words. It’s a tug and pull between self-love and/or reassuring oneself of who you are even if the love was not wanted. When i first heard the song, i imagined she was talking about a past or current relationship, and she wanted to remind this guy exactly who she was and what she could give. Yet, still needing him to be exactly who she needed, in order to be confident and comfortable in her own skin.
I listened to the song with my eyes closed, and thought about what’s it like to have an equal to make you feel fulfilled, secure, and for you to want to give more because you know it’ll be reciprocated. However, after watching the video my thoughts completely changed.
it’s not about an equal it’s about you.
Aesthetically put, visually pleasing, this song is about S E L F L O V E.
As you watched the video, she was surrounded by many mirrors as she sung the lyrics to the song.
It was a love letter to herself.
A reflection of herself.
This says a lot by saying, showing so little.
Be good to yourself, love yourself. Don’t look to others to take care of your body and soul.
It’s a long journey and it doesn’t happen over night, but what good is it if what you can give the universe you aren’t able to give yourself? Be the light, know how to take care of it, and love it. Then share it with someone who is deserving of it.
Don’t you go finding it, let it find you.
you belong to you.
SELF LOVE is ESSENTIAL
she was made from medium brown to honey
a taste of brown powder, sweet chocolate, with a hint of vanilla
as honey flows, she blooms and the world is unfavorable of her existence
they’ll speak on her character before knowing her name
they’ll expect for her labor to be free, healing them in their pain, reducing their fears
the world tells her to be strong and to fight back
so when the going gets tough, she says, “there’s shit to do”
only denying to herself what she feels: afraid, hurt, lonely, anxious, angry
W E A R Y.
she’s weary but she knows she’s the honey that flows, softer than most
brown girl, she is a free woman that was not made in your existence or being
she is more than strong
she isn’t superficial, there’s no super powers
but there’s that black girl magic – resilience, beauty, and power
20 something, nothing can replace these experiences but
her greatest achievement is existing